5 Self-Affirmations That Will Make You Secure Within (and Without) Your Relationship
Relationships are hard work. It’s difficult to form a strong, stable foundation on which to build a successful union and the work doesn’t stop there.
Otherwise stable romantic relationships are especially vulnerable to myriad internal conflicts — and those that arise from one or both parties feeling underappreciated, unheard, or undervalued can spell the end for even the most promising relationship.
On the bright side, relationships are worth the effort and they are priceless by virtue of their ability to thrive and enrich us in the face of these challenges. Through the trials your relationship will undoubtedly face, internal conflicts are the easiest to remedy with self-reflection and a healthy dose of self-love.
Above all, it is important to keep in mind that your partner chose YOU out of all the other options they had, and here some affirmations to recite anytime you doubt why they made that choice.
1. I Am Physically Attractive
You are! That’s why your partner chose you! Remember that physical attraction is different things to different people. You’ve undoubtedly heard the phrase, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and it couldn’t be truer.
People are complex, and what gets one person’s motor running floods another person’s engine, so keep that in mind anytime you start to pick yourself apart because you think you’re not “hot” enough to deserve your mate. The truth is, you are the hottest thing they’ve ever seen, that’s why they’re with you.
2. I Am Interesting
Much like the nuances of physical attraction, interests vary from person to person. While it’s easy to point to the person who draws comic books and heads up a country/electronica fusion band as the winner of the “Most Fascinating Person” contest (I made that up), there are plenty of people who have no interest in listening to the horrific cacophony that has to be. Maybe they’d much rather date someone who can curate a night of mindless reality television that features a cast that is as diverse as it is trashy.
Your partner chose you because you keep them on their toes, you keep them guessing, you entertain them, or, maybe you’re the safe place they can go after they bomb their first set.
3. I Am Worth My Partner’s Loyalty
Insecurity is a relationship killer. Not only does it erode the foundation of a relationship at light speed, it is a completely useless emotion. Feeling insecure about yourself, your partner’s devotion, or the state of your relationship only serves to create feelings of inadequacy, fear, anger, and misery. The behaviors that result from those feelings create the type of resentment that will disintegrate your union faster than infidelity ever could.
Going back to one of my earlier points, your partner chose you out of all the other options they had. Bask in the reality of that fact, and remember the cold hard truth that if your partner wanted another person, they’d be with them, not you.
I challenge you to make the choice to trust that you are worthy of a partner that is loyal to you, not only because at the outset of your relationship you had a frank conversation about the boundaries of your monogamous relationship, but because they choose to spend their time with you and face the world with you by their side.
Of course, we all know that infidelity does happen, but don’t let that inconvenient truth invade the boundaries of your union. Barring any real proof that your partner is unfaithful (i.e, you catch them in the act) leave any insecure behaviors behind and believe in the truth of your relationship. Remember the first two affirmations if you ever seriously doubt that you are worthy of your partners loyalty.
In the event your partner is not faithful to you, the affirmation remains the same. Use it to build the courage to kick them to the curb, because no matter how bad someone else’s behavior is, it doesn’t change the truth of what you deserve.
4. I Bring Value to My Relationship
Whether you’re the one that makes the dinner plans every night or you’re the one that always finds a cool gallery opening to attend, you enrich your partner’s life in so many ways.
This fact is strengthened as a relationship grows and matures and intimacy increases. When your partner gets worked up over silly things, maybe you know just the thing to calm them down. Maybe you’ve improved their wardrobe, or helped them become more organized. Maybe you’ve shown them how to sew up a hole in a sock or given them tips on how to gain followers on social media — whatever it is — your partner’s life is better because you’re in it.
5. I Deserve To Be Loved
This includes the “bad” parts of you, too. You are an amazing, attractive, interesting person with so much to offer. The other affirmations essentially lead up to this one important fact; your are worthy of giving and receiving love in its truest form.
No relationship is perfect, and bad partners and awful relationships exist. The key is never losing sight of your value despite the course of your relationship. Say these affirmations whenever you need to calm a racing mind that draws shoddy conclusions about your relationship, or, when you need to make the hard decision to strike out solo with your self-confidence intact.
