Signs He Wants To Get Serious
Dating success with a particular person — especially early on — is gauged based on assumption. Until you’ve developed the type of relationship with someone that allows for direct, clear communication, you’re essentially guessing about their intentions.
Having done my share of dating — and assuming interest levels from my prospects — I’ve recognized a few common behaviors that indicate that the man I’m dating is interested in being with me for the long haul.
He Initiates Contact.
Now, I should admit that I was never big on initiating contact with the men I dated as I used their efforts to contact me as a way to determine their interest level — and to be honest I’m all about having the upper hand.
That aside, I’ve found that the relationships that have turned long-term always got there because he reached out to keep conversation going and did whatever was necessary to maintain contact.
I’m not referring to the dry “good morning beautiful,” or “how are you?” texts (whenever I got those types of texts, I always felt like I was a part of a group text of prospects the man was spamming every morning) — but what I really mean is they send texts of substance. They reach out to spark conversation and send meaningful conversation starters to make sure they’re keeping you engaged.
The simplest way to determine if a man isn’t that into you or if you’re last on his list, is by taking note of how often he reaches out to you. He doesn’t need to text everyday, but he should be making making sure that not too many days go by without some sort of contact.
He makes plans.
In my article The Dating App Survival Guide, I mention my disdain for pen pals: people that text and reach out and send messages but never make any moves to set up a date.
Red flag.
There are plenty of men who are satisfied with just texting to you for some inordinate amount of time with no designs on ever seeing you or forming any real connection with you. What you should realize is that they’re either married, in a relationship, have low self-esteem, bored, or are practicing their pick-up lines. None of these things are beneficial to you, and you should never encourage this.
On the flip side, a man who is interested in building something with you reaches out with a goal in mind. He wants to see you, take you out, court you. No one ever courted anyone by texting with them for ten weeks sight unseen.
He calls you.
Up to this point I’ve talked a lot about texting — for good reason — as most of us, above board and below, use texting as our main mode of communication, especially in the early stages of dating.
One obvious sign that things are progressing in the direction of a serious/monogamous relationship is that he picks up the phone and calls you. It suggests that he wants to hear your voice, that he is comfortable with you, and that you’re worth more attention than it takes to send a distracted text.
A man being able to pick up the phone and have a conversation with you indicates a high level of maturity, and is just another sign that when a man knows what he wants, he’s not afraid to make that clear — using his real life voice.
He tells you that he wants something serious.
Obvious right? The reason I think his point is important to include is because I think it’s often overlooked. In some women’s quest to make excuses for men, they assume that men will never explicitly tell you that they want something serious, or that they want to take things to the next level.
This is simply not true. Every relationship of mine that has progressed into serious territory began with a conversation about what we wanted from one another in the future. Before my fiance and I became serious, he literally told me that he didn’t want to date anyone else and that he didn’t want me to, either.
We didn’t plan out our entire lives together and marriage was definitely not on the table at that point, but we both knew where we stood and we removed all room for misinterpretation.
Nothing I’ve written here is incredibly ground breaking, but the main key to dating success is realizing that a lack of effort from the man you’re seeing tends to indicate a lack of interest. Knowing real effort when you see it is important in determining whether the man you like is around for a good time, or around for good.
